


Dealing With Stupidity

by respoftw



Series: Tumblr Prompts - McShep edition [12]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Domestic, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 12:57:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7619002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/respoftw/pseuds/respoftw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Rodney have a quiet night in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dealing With Stupidity

**Author's Note:**

> For unwoundbobbin who prompted:  
> I’m currently suffering through my seasonal job of marking exam papers, and getting increasingly annoyed with general incompetence and stupidity, which led me to wonder (should the muse take you) if you could write McKay grading papers/dealing with science team stupidity etc? Bonus McShep points if John distracts/deflects/otherwise deflates McKay’s ranting :)

“I specifically didn’t go into academia so that I wouldn’t have to deal with stupidity like this!”

John flipped the page of his comic book, Rodney’s rant barely meriting a raised eyebrow. If years of working together hadn’t inured him to McKay’s many and varied apoplectic rants, a year of living together in a post DADT world definitely had.

“I thought the reason you didn’t go into academia was the money?”

John couldn’t see Rodney’s face from where he was stretched out on the couch but imagining the shocked, sputtering look on his face - the one Rodney always made when John was American enough to talk about money like it wasn’t a dirty word - was enough to make the corners of his mouth twitch up.

“I would have made an excellent professor, I’ll have you know. The prestige I would have brought to any institution lucky enough to woo me would have been considerable.”

John huffed a laugh at that. “You would have lasted five minutes. The first improperly cited source or errant comma and you’d have turned whichever poor undergrad that had the gall to not to be perfect to a sobbing ball on the floor.”

“It builds character,” Rodney insisted. “They would have thanked me for it.”

“No,” John drawled as he sat up and tossed the latest issue of Aquaman on the coffee table, “they would have fired you.” Rodney glared at him as John offered his most winning smile. “What stupidity are you dealing with now, anyway?” A horrible thought crossed his mind and he sat up straighter. “They’re not trying to ship Kavanagh out here again, are they?”

Rodney shook his head. “Don’t worry about that,” he said. “I have a standing letter on file with General O’Neill that if they ever try and pawn him on us again, the both of us will resign effective immediately.”

“Huh,” John said, “it might have been nice to know that I had made a decision as important as that.”

Rodney just huffed and held out his left hand, wagging the ring finger about like it was the answer to everything. “Remember this?” the gold band flashed as the light hit it. “I’m pretty sure this means that wherever I go, you go. That was the deal.”

“I dunno,” John crossed his arms. “I seem to remember you promising something similar - in front of witnesses - and then refusing to get out of bed a week later to go hiking with me.”

“Oh, excuse me, Colonel for not wanting to spend the one vacation I’ve had in the past eight years sweaty and out of breath.”

John grinned widely at Rodney but didn’t say anything. That was too easy an opening. If their years together had taught John anything, it was that Rodney valued intelligence and detested people who took the easy openings. From the way Rodney rolled his eyes, John knew that he had spotted the flaw in his statement anyway. That was almost as much fun as pointing it out for him.

“So, if it’s not Kavanagh,” John asked again, “what’s bit your ass tonight?”

Rodney sighed and leant back in his chair, dropping the datapad on the desk. “It’s these damn performance reviews,” he said. “I have to sign off on them and it’s becoming abundantly clear that my staff is made up of simpering idiots.”

Rodney lifted off the glasses that he’d been forced to start wearing a few months ago and brought his hands up to rub at the indents they’d left behind. (John loved those glasses and had a behind closed door agreement with Zelenka that if any Ancient doohickey that could fix age-related eye deterioration was found, it was to be thrown in the ocean immediately.)

“I mean, listen to this,” Rodney put the glasses back on and tapped at his pad, the screensaver of the both of them mugging for the camera with champagne glasses in their hand disappearing. “Dr. Miller has experienced some minor problems in his first three months in Atlantis but is fitting in well and is a valued member of the botany team.”

“Miller? Is he the guy who brews that agave based alcohol that doesn’t have the side effect of making three out of every four people who drink it go blind? I like him.”

“Oh God,” Rodney threw his hands up in the air. “You’re just as bad as them. Firstly, Zelenka’s moonshine improves with every new batch - he’s down to blinding only one out of every three people now. And the blindness only lasts an hour or so, anyway. And secondly, and perhaps most importantly: the minor problems that the review so briefly mentions? Remember the spores that infected the city because some idiot didn’t think the control procedures were there for a reason? The spores that caused an extreme allergic reaction in about a dozen people, including yours truly?”

John’s eyes widened. “That was Miller? Why the hell isn’t he already back on Earth? Minor problems? He damn near killed you!” John swore that he was never drinking the delicious agavahol again.

“And that’s just the start of the stupidity!” Rodney said. “I haven’t told you about the person in biology whose goal for the next year is to see what happens when we introduce Wraith DNA to snails.”

The visual that gave John was enough to fuel his nightmares for weeks. He shuddered.

“OK,” he said, “I can see why that might bite your ass.”

“Thank you,” Rodney looked vindicated for a brief moment before he slumped in defeat again. “And I’m not even half done.”

John made a unilateral decision. He was used to doing that as military commander but it still gave him a thrill to make sweeping decisions not as Rodney’s team leader, but as Rodney’s husband.

“You’ve done enough for tonight,” he scooted Rodney’s chair back from the desk and after making sure that the datapad was placed carefully out of harm's way, he settled himself on Rodney’s lap, grinning down at the wide blue eyes staring up at him. “You’re getting grumpy and irritable,” John kissed his way down Rodney’s neck, relishing every shiver. “And, besides,” he whispered in Rodney’s ear, “I’m the only one who’s allowed to bite your ass these days.”

The science and research department got their performance reviews back a little bit later than expected but Rodney maintains that it was absolutely worth it.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
